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Time Periods

 Prehistoric Period May 19, 2001 — Nov 25, 2001:  before the message board opened to the public
 Early Period Nov 26, 2001 — Apr 23, 2002:  brianeno2, neuboy, and company lay the foundation for all that is to come
 Golden Age Apr 24, 2002 — Oct 07, 2004:  80% of the messages are posted in just 2½ years
 Period of Decline Oct 08, 2004 — May 09, 2006:  posting activity falls off as interest in the message board wanes
 Great Blackout May 10, 2006 — Sep 18, 2006:  The Features pull the plug on their message board while they go through a major transition
 Post Apocalyptic Period Sep 19, 2006 — Jan 10, 2007:  the message board is purged and brought back on-line
 Afterlife Jan 11, 2007:  spam kills the message board

Prehistoric Period

Saturday, May 19, 2001 — Sunday, November 25, 2001

In May, 2001, Michael Eades, who had been the webmaster at Spongebath Records, began building an independent web site for The Features, who had released an EP on the Spongebath label. Perhaps inspired by the success of the message board community on Spongebath's web site, he decided to include a message board on The Features' new site. Before it was opened to the public, several friends of the band were invited to preview the new site. They were also allowed to join the message board, post messages, and help test it out.

Little is known about this period in the message board's history because all of the posts from this testing phase were erased before the site opened to the public. The members who were actually around during this time never spoke about it, but jamiecarroll once shared part of the story with the community.

  Saturday, May 19, 2001
3:38 PM
michael becomes the first member of the Features Message Board.
  Monday, June 4, 2001
12:15 AM
BrianEno joins the message board.
  Saturday, September 22, 2001
3:09 AM
brianeno2 joins the message board. Since none of the posts from this period are available, we do not know the exact events that caused BrianEno to become brianeno2. However, sometime later, he hints that his original user was banned from the message board for criticizing the band's management.
  Thursday, October 4, 2001
2:28 PM
roadie is the last person to join the message board during its "trial run."

Early Period

Monday, November 26, 2001 — Tuesday, April 23, 2002

On Monday, November 26, 2001, the testing period for the web site came to an end, and the Features Message Board opened to the public. brianeno2 was the first person to post, and other fans soon joined in. The community grew slowly at first, and there was some concern that the message board might not survive. Eventually, though, the user base grew large enough to keep the conversations alive.

In the early days, the conversations centered around The Features and other lesser-known bands. The topics did not vary as wildly as they would in the message board's later years.

  Monday, November 26, 2001
8:12 AM
brianeno2 posts the first surviving post. This, of course, automatically vaults him into the Top Poster position. He will continue to hold the title for 3½ months.
  Wednesday, November 28, 2001
12:47 AM
jamiecarroll, who will one day hold the Top Poster title, joins the message board.
  Friday, November 30, 2001
2:09 AM
michael starts the 10th surviving topic.
2:11 AM
michael starts the first "What Is Everyone Listening To?" topic.
3:49 AM
jamiecarroll posts his first set list for a Features show. Such postings will become one of his official duties.
10:44 PM
The message board software currently in use does not support automated polls so they must be done by hand. brianeno2 starts the first one by inquiring about everyone's favorite member of The Features.
  Monday, December 3, 2001
1:57 PM
thelawnwrangler starts the first topic suggesting potential cover songs for The Features.
9:03 PM
seeMEthru is the first to utilize the message board software's ability to quote other posts within a message.
  Wednesday, December 5, 2001
10:41 PM
The word relevant is introduced to the message board's vernacular by brianeno2
  Thursday, December 6, 2001
11:27 PM
jamiecarroll posts the 100th surviving post.
  Tuesday, December 11, 2001
1:29 AM
brianeno2 starts the 25th surviving topic.
  Thursday, December 13, 2001
1:58 PM
The "Stirring up conversation" topic becomes the first to have 25 posts.
  Monday, December 24, 2001
12:22 AM
The "lurve -murfreesboro other rock band" topic is started by whofan in the Misc. forum. It becomes a classic representation of brianeno2 and neuboy in action.
  Saturday, January 12, 2002
11:59 PM
An entire day passes without any new messages being posted. This will be the last silent posting day for over 3½ years.
  Tuesday, January 15, 2002
11:59 PM
Iris becomes the first member to "totally agree" with another member, which will eventually become a very common occurrence.
  Thursday, January 17, 2002
11:16 AM
Lauren starts the 50th surviving topic.
  Saturday, January 19, 2002
7:25 PM
thelawnwrangler is the first to question jamiecarroll's gender.
  Tuesday, January 29, 2002
12:50 PM
roadie is the first member to make a derogatory remark about The Strokes.
  Friday, February 1, 2002
10:21 AM
ghostflower posts the 500th surviving post.
9:28 PM
Iris makes the first mention of De Novo Dahl, another area rock band that will become popular with The Features' fans. However, they are only mentioned in passing at this time. It will be 2½ months before the band is actually a topic of discussion. The post is also significant because it gives the "Tennessee Bands" topic the distinction of being the first to have 50 posts.
  Wednesday, February 6, 2002
3:01 PM
brianeno2 posits "Eno's Law:"  All relevant things make their way into the conversation.
  Saturday, February 9, 2002
12:36 AM
brianeno2 invents a song for The Features called "Willy and the Willigers".
  Sunday, February 10, 2002
9:52 AM
ray davies, who will one day hold the Top Poster title, joins the message board.
10:02 PM
deevol posts the 1,000th surviving post.
  Monday, February 11, 2002
11:59 PM
For the first time, over 100 messages are posted in a single day.
  Wednesday, February 13, 2002
12:17 AM
deevol is the first member to publicly recognize the symptoms of MBA (Message Board Addiction).
10:35 PM
In one of the first displays of message board nostalgia, jamiecarroll posts a list of his favorite topics with an emphasis on how quickly conversations change directions.
  Thursday, February 14, 2002
10:49 AM
brianeno2's traditional post count reaches 250, making him the first member to attain "Advanced Member" status.
10:53 AM
brianeno2 starts the 100th surviving topic.
11:01 AM
brianeno2 posts his final message and becomes the first member to officially retire from the message board.
  Sunday, February 17, 2002
11:34 AM
elliott joins the message board and immediately begins posting dozens of senseless messages. "The elliott Crisis," the young on-line community's first real challenge, begins.
6:44 PM
elliott reaches 25 posts after only 7.17 hours.
7:21 PM
freezetag is the first to suggest that the message board members should get together and hang out before or after the next Features show. The "board meeting" didn't happen at that time, but it helped the members realize that it might be fun to meet each in real life.
  Monday, February 18, 2002
10:09 AM
elliott reaches 50 posts after only 22.57 hours.
1:23 PM
Always the peacemaker, jamiecarroll attempts to befriend elliott and integrate him into the message board's culture.
5:22 PM
elliott reaches 100 posts in record time, requiring only 1.24 days to accomplish the feat.
8:13 PM
elliott's constant posting begins to try the patience of the message board members.
8:47 PM
elliott posts his final message. In all, he submitted 148 messages in 33 hours, establishing a record for posting activity that no one will ever match.
10:18 PM
We don't know exactly when it happened, but members begin to notice that elliott has been banned from the message board. Presumably, this action was carried out by michael, the message board's administrator, but he never comments on the situation.
11:07 PM
jamiecarroll figures out elliott's true identity, but he does not publicly state the name of his suspect. His suspicions are whispered secretly among the members, but elliott's true identity is not publicly revealed until May 23, when exliontamer implies that blightman was responsible.
11:22 PM
neuboy echoes earlier speculation that brianeno2 might be elliott.
  Tuesday, February 19, 2002
10:50 AM
smith, an obvious doppelgänger for elliott, joins the message board. However, he does not continue his predecessor's posting behavior and instead pleads for elliott's reinstatement.
6:48 PM
smith, realizing his antics are unwelcome, posts his final message.
  Wednesday, February 20, 2002
9:43 AM
khautala is the 100th member to join the message board.
  Thursday, February 21, 2002
5:01 PM
By this point in time, The Features had written many excellent songs. Many of them had been recorded during studio sessions that were never released to the public. Other, newer songs had been recorded by some of the fans during the band's shows. At this point in time, recordings of these songs are scattered throughout the fan community and are generally difficult to obtain. All of that changes, though, when khautala has the brilliant realization that the music can be shared via the Internet as MP3 files. He registers some shared storage space on myplay.com and invites the message board members to share their own recordings and download the music they do not already have.
  Thursday, February 28, 2002
9:13 AM
Although his intentions are good, khautala's efforts to share MP3 files through myplay.com are thwarted by some technical limitations of the site. Determined to help spread The Features' music, he creates an FTP site on his work computer that allows message board members to upload and download music. Although the FTP site will only survive for a few weeks, it is on-line long enough to allow recordings of the music to spread throughout the community.
11:16 AM
thelawnwrangler introduces the community to midget clown porn.
  Thursday, March 7, 2002
9:04 PM
jamiecarroll posts his 247th surviving post, passing brianeno2 as the Top Poster. However, because of discrepancies in the statistics available at the time, the event is not recognized until a few days later. jamiecarroll will hold the top spot for the next year.
  Monday, March 11, 2002
7:10 PM
jamiecarroll invents the "NCAA Tournament of Features Songs," which lets the message board community vote on their favorite songs in a series of tournament-style 1-on-1 match-ups. It is a huge hit and becomes an annual tradition.
  Friday, March 15, 2002
1:03 AM
Although it doesn't get off the ground at this time, overemo is the first to suggest that the message board community start a mix tape exchange.
  Friday, March 29, 2002
1:56 AM
The concert review topic for the band's March 28, 2002, performance at Blue Cats in Knoxville gets interesting when new member FeaturesRnotSoGood characterizes The Features as dull and repetitive. The excitement continues in the "FeaturesRnotNotSoGood" topic started by thelawnwrangler. (Two years later, devilintheeveryday will provide some background for the situation.)
  Tuesday, April 2, 2002
12:31 AM
"Circus" is announced as the winner of the 2002 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs.
  Thursday, April 4, 2002
2:06 AM
The "what are you features msgboard people listening to" topic receives its 82nd post, surpassing "Tennessee Bands" as the longest topic.
3:10 PM
exliontamer starts the 250th surviving topic.
  Saturday, April 6, 2002
2:36 PM
blightman, who has a reputation for creating the best recordings of live Features shows, extends a standing offer to do a "B&P" swap for any member of the message board. This creates yet another avenue for members of the message board to obtain copies of the new music from The Features.
  Tuesday, April 9, 2002
9:09 PM
After a false start, BrianW is introduced as a new administrator on the message board.
  Monday, April 22, 2002
12:25 PM
freezetag posts the first list of "Senior Superlatives" for the message board.

Golden Age

Wednesday, April 24, 2002 — Thursday, October 7, 2004

It's difficult to pin down the exact dates of the message board's heyday, but it's clear that by the end of April, 2002, the community was changing. brianeno2 and neuboy, two members who had been pillars of the message board in its early days, had not posted in over two months. The conversations, which had once been dominated by a relatively small, close-knit group of people who knew each other in the "real world," were now receiving significant contributions from many of the band's newer fans. This increase in the number of active users would greatly expand the range of topics discussed on the message board. As a pleasant side effect, the fans' interest in The Features also rose to a fever pitch.

In reviewing the message board's history, I could not find any definite events to mark the exact beginning or end of the "Golden Age" so I've elected to use statistics to define its boundaries. Although the Golden Age would span less than half of the message board's chronological life, 80% of all the messages posted would be written during this time. During this time, members would post an average 64.4 messages each day. Compare this to the 17.1 messages per day that were posted during other time periods and you will understand why I consider this to be the heyday of the message board.

  Friday, April 26, 2002
1:35 AM
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH!," the first of many birthday topics, is started by jamiecarroll.
  Monday, April 29, 2002
11:05 AM
stalker on skates introduces the phrase "rules me" to the message board's vernacular. Although the phrase will later become associated with StephanieW, SOS will use it at least five times before Stephanie ever employs it.
  Tuesday, May 7, 2002
7:39 PM
stalker on skates is the first to use to use the word hott.
  Friday, May 17, 2002
2:03 PM
Tom Foolery suggests that the members of the message board put aside their shyness, introduce themselves to each other, and watch the upcoming show at Dancin' in the District together. The idea proves popular and the plan quickly expands with suggestions to go bowling, share toys, bring cookies, and wear name tags.
  Wednesday, May 22, 2002
11:31 PM
The "dancing in the district" topic receives its 83rd post, surpassing "what are you features msgboard people listening to" as the longest topic.
  Thursday, May 23, 2002
9:21 PM
The "dancing in the district" topic becomes the first to have 100 posts.
  Friday, May 31, 2002
1:30 PM
stalker on skates posts the 5,000th surviving post. However, because of discrepancies in the statistics available at the time, the event will not be recognized until a few days later.
  Saturday, June 8, 2002
8:17 PM
At this point, the message board only had the four forums that were originally created when the message board opened: "General", "Concert Reviews", "Misc.", and "Concert Information". In response to requests from the members, michael adds the "Lyrics and Tabs" forum to the message board.
  Monday, June 10, 2002
11:18 AM
Ceeze had announced several months before that Rollum is his neighbor, but after he reports that Rollum is currently cutting his lawn, the message board community starts an on-going joke about him stalking The Features' drummer.
  Tuesday, June 18, 2002
7:01 PM
Matt Mahaffey, who is the front man for a legendary Murfreesboro band called Self, stops by the message board to discuss the recordings he had produced for The Features two years earlier.
  Monday, July 1, 2002
6:00 PM
Although all of the code and data for the message board are only 5MB combined, the message board's software is consuming 450MB of the web server's RAM. Something is obviously wrong with the system, and on July 1, after seven months of service, the message board finally crashes. Members are unable to post for two days while michael makes repairs.
  Wednesday, July 3, 2002
6:45 PM
The Features play at Dancin' in the District. It is the first show where members of the message board make a conscious effort to introduce themselves to each other instead of huddling together in groups of two or three and whispering about the secret identities of other Features fans. Of course, the actual event is not as glorious as the plans that had been made, but it still provides a chance to break the ice and meet other members. (Note: Photographs made by Tom Foolery during the show can be found in the "extras" folder on this archive's CD.)
  Thursday, July 4, 2002
2:09 AM
By working his technical magic, michael is able to bring the message board back on-line. He upgrades the system to run the Invision Board software, which provides some nice new features. This, of course, brings much delight to the members, who were unable to get their fix while the message board was out of commission. It is at this same time that the new "Website News" and "Message Board News" forums are added.
  Sunday, July 7, 2002
5:44 PM
Wiyum is the first to utilize the new message board software's ability to create polls.
  Tuesday, July 9, 2002
3:49 PM
John David starts the 500th surviving topic.
  Thursday, July 11, 2002
5:02 PM
carligula, who will one day hold the Top Poster title, joins the message board.
  Saturday, July 20, 2002
9:59 PM
damon completes the most active week an individual member will ever have, posting 200 messages in just 7 days.
  Thursday, July 25, 2002 During the two-week period of July 12—25, 2002, the message board has 1,051 new messages posted by 35 different members. However, a third of these (353) come from just two members, damon and ray davies. The two had been roommates at MTSU during the preceding school year but are now separated during the summer break. Perhaps motivated by summer boredom, they rely on the Features Message Board for much of their entertainment. This causes some topics to read more like a conversation between two people instead of an open discussion. Most of the posts are short one-liners, and twenty-six of them have five words or less. This behavior does not escape the notice of the other members. After July, though, the posting activity of damon and ray davies will drop off a bit, but it will not fully decrease to a normal level until the end of September.
  Wednesday, July 31, 2002
10:39 PM
damon completes the most active month an individual member will ever have, posting 439 messages in 31 days.
  Tuesday, September 3, 2002
10:00 AM
Tom Foolery starts an on-going joke that Lauren is imaginary.
  Tuesday, September 10, 2002
8:06 PM
YaDaDaDa posts the 10,000th surviving post.
  Wednesday, November 13, 2002
5:13 PM
jamiecarroll becomes the 1st member to post 1,000 messages.
  Sunday, November 17, 2002
11:00 PM
The "Are you guys for real?" topic grows to 25 posts in record time, requiring only 49.87 minutes to reach the milestone.
11:37 PM
The "Are you guys for real?" topic grows to 50 posts in record time, requiring only 1.44 hours to reach the milestone.
  Tuesday, November 26, 2002 The message board observes its first anniversary.
  Saturday, December 14, 2002
2:43 AM
The review of the 12/12/2002 show starts out as a normal topic, but it soon becomes one of the all-time classics after it turns into the first of several fights in which holeypeacoat and poohbear's girl take on sinasugarsick.
  Thursday, December 19, 2002
12:58 PM
Lauren recognizes that she, carligula, and sinasugarsick are triplets.
  Sunday, January 12, 2003
2:44 AM
On Saturday, January 11, 2003, The Features played a show at The Boro. The review topic for the show becomes fairly heated as members discuss how The Boro's staff had refused to admit some people to the show, forcing them to enjoy the music out in the cold. Members a brainless boro employee and mtsuraider make their only appearances in this topic and help stir up the conversation. This topic is also noteworthy because it is the 1,000th topic posted on the message board.
  Thursday, January 16, 2003
1:13 AM
Keith posts the second list of "Senior Superlatives" for the message board.
  Thursday, January 30, 2003
11:05 PM
ray davies becomes the 2nd member to post 1,000 messages.
  Saturday, February 1, 2003
6:23 PM
deevol announces his retirement and immediately reappears as mike_D.
  Monday, February 10, 2003
9:05 PM
When new member somethingman accidentally refers to Matt Pelham as "Scott", the message board community really lets him have it and creates a new, on-going joke about a band called "The Deatures". (Fortunately, somethingman is a good sport about the whole thing and sticks around to become a valuable member of the community.)
  Tuesday, February 11, 2003
5:51 PM
For the first time, carligula utters his most famous phrase: "I have nothing to back this up.".
  Monday, February 24, 2003
10:42 AM
The "jamiecarroll is Roger Dabbs" meme is started.
  Tuesday, March 4, 2003
9:49 AM
DigsySlattery becomes the 3rd member to post 1,000 messages.
  Wednesday, March 5, 2003
3:46 AM
damon becomes the 4th member to post 1,000 messages.
10:56 PM
At the beginning of 2003, jamiecarroll had posted 1,118 messages and had been the Top Poster for almost ten months. He was more than 200 posts ahead of damon and ray davies, who were holding down the second and third spots on the list. For the first two months of 2003, jamiecarroll averaged 2.92 posts per day. In this same period of time, ray davies started to narrow the gap by posting 5.24 messages per day. During the first seven days of March, RD has an explosion of posting activity, submitting an average of 20.57 messages each day. This surge allows him to surpass jamiecarroll, and on Wednesday, March 5, 2003 at 10:56 PM, ray davies becomes the message board's Top Poster. However, the event is not without a bit of controversy, which had been discussed a few days before.
  Monday, March 10, 2003
8:06 PM
Hilarity ensues as sinasugarsick takes on new member FlyingFeaturesFan'sGF.
  Sunday, March 16, 2003
5:35 PM
Daiglenetics (or "Daigletology", as it is sometimes called) is born. It is a religion that studies the teachings of The Features' manager, Rory Daigle.
6:10 PM
The 2003 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs is started by jamiecarroll.
  Monday, March 31, 2003
11:59 PM
The busiest month in the message board's history comes to an end. Members wrote 3,249 messages!
  Friday, April 4, 2003
1:31 AM
The "top five lists" topic receives its 160th post, surpassing "dancing in the district" as the longest topic.
  Tuesday, April 8, 2003
6:14 AM
"Buffalo Head" is announced as the winner of the 2003 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs.
6:09 PM
The "top five lists" topic becomes the first to have 250 posts.
  Tuesday, April 15, 2003
12:37 PM
Tom Foolery posts one of the first attempts to record the history of the message board.
  Wednesday, April 16, 2003
9:43 AM
carligula and stopforme have their first disagreement. This one is much more civil than the ones to come.
10:46 AM
Rumors had quietly been swirling around the message board community that The Features had been signed by Universal Records, but it isn't publicly stated on the message board until y2jbrock mentions it.
  Saturday, April 19, 2003
11:23 AM
stalker on skates becomes the 5th member to post 1,000 messages.
4:57 PM
YaDaDaDa becomes the 6th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Saturday, April 26, 2003
9:12 AM
Perhaps unintentionally, Token plans a message board get-together at Rosepepper Cantina to be held before The Features play a "secret show" at Slow Bar.
  Tuesday, April 29, 2003
11:01 PM
"Avatars, Signatures, and Member Names", which will eventually become the longest topic on the message board, is started by StephanieW.
  Thursday, May 1, 2003
4:21 PM
The members discuss affairs of the heart after FlyingFeaturesFan suffers through a dramatic break up with his girlfriend, FlyingFeaturesFan'sGF.
8:52 PM
HaveSomeSoma posts the 25,000th surviving post.
  Friday, May 2, 2003
4:05 PM
HaveSomeSoma begins her on-going quest to teach message board members the correct way to use the phrase couldn't care less.
  Monday, May 5, 2003 The Features go to Mississippi to record their first full-length album.
  Tuesday, May 6, 2003
3:14 PM
carligula becomes the 7th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Tuesday, May 13, 2003
10:42 PM
After a surge of posting activity in early March that propelled him to the top of the posting list, ray davies's posting activity returned to a normal level of 3.96 messages per day. Meanwhile, jamiecarroll had increased his posting activity to 4.54 messages per day, and on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 at 10:42 PM, he recaptures the Top Poster title. This begins a friendly 10-day competition between the message board's two most prolific authors.
  Wednesday, May 14, 2003
11:03 AM
After Roger Dabbs's landslide win in a poll started by richarddawson, the members start an on-going joke about his addiction to smack and hoes.
  Friday, May 16, 2003
4:38 PM
carligula and stopforme have their first nasty fight.
  Tuesday, May 20, 2003
3:17 PM
ray davies again passes jamiecarroll and claims the Top Poster title.
  Friday, May 23, 2003
12:42 PM
jamiecarroll surpasses ray davies and takes over the top spot on the posting list. Up to this point in his posting career, RD has averaged an impressive 3.48 posts per day. However, most of his posting activity is now behind him. Averaging only 0.67 posts per day for the rest of his career, RD will never again challenge for the top spot and will ultimately finish 5th on the All Time Poster's List.
  Monday, June 16, 2003
10:11 PM
jamiecarroll initiates the official Mix Tape Exchange, and one week later he announces the first pairings.
  Friday, June 20, 2003
7:15 PM
rachel, the message board's youngest regular contributor, joins the message board again and replaces rachel1808, her previous username.
  Wednesday, July 2, 2003 The Features announce that The Beginning EP will be released in the UK on Fierce Panda records.
  Friday, July 11, 2003
9:35 PM
DRAMA! Duckie (a.k.a. FlyingFeaturesFan'sGF) returns to the message board to defend herself in the on-going saga of her break up with FlyingFeaturesFan. The high school drama spills over into the "Lying" and "Duckie v. Duckie" topics as well.
  Thursday, July 17, 2003
1:10 PM
smee quotes an article from the Nashville Rage which hints that The Features will release an album on Universal Records in the spring..
  Thursday, August 7, 2003
5:51 PM
The fact that YaDaDaDa and Tom Foolery are brothers is publicly revealed.
  Sunday, August 10, 2003
2:27 PM
The "Avatars, Signatures, and Member Names" topic receives its 308th post, surpassing "top five lists" as the longest topic.
10:43 PM
carligula points out that The Features are officially listed on the Universal Records website, which is the closest thing to an "official" announcement of the signing that will ever made.
  Monday, September 1, 2003
1:44 PM
Three new forums are added to the message board: "Music", "Film", and "News and Politics".
  Sunday, September 28, 2003
1:58 PM
Tom Foolery becomes the 8th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Thursday, October 2, 2003
12:43 PM
jamiecarroll writes the 36,094th post, thus passing the mid-point in the message board's posting activity
  Friday, October 3, 2003
3:39 AM
richarddawson becomes the 9th member to reach 1,000 posts. He accomplishes the feat in record time, requiring only 260.25 days.
  Thursday, October 9, 2003
6:09 PM
Sexy Sadie is the first to speculate that this is actually the De Novo Dahl message board
  Saturday, October 18, 2003
11:54 AM
In a routine posting announcing upcoming shows, BrianW announces that the message board members will select songs for the set list for The Features' show on November 7th. This, of course, sends a huge wave of excitement through the community. Discussions about the show quickly focus on which songs everyone wants to hear, and campaigning for certain songs and vote swapping become central themes.
  Sunday, October 19, 2003
10:12 PM
Official voting for the set list of the November 7th show begins. DigsySlattery soon starts an unofficial tally to keep members up-to-date on how the voting is going.
  Monday, October 27, 2003
12:00 PM
Official voting for the November 7th set list comes to an end. Official results are never posted, but joeywade submits an unofficial final tally.
  Thursday, October 30, 2003
8:30 PM
Keith becomes the 10th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Friday, November 7, 2003
10:00 PM
The Features play an amazing show featuring songs selected by the message board community. The actual set list does not include all of the songs that had been elected, but it includes more of the songs than the members had hoped.
  Saturday, November 8, 2003
5:49 PM
Wiyum becomes the 11th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Friday, November 14, 2003
6:14 PM
The "Superflks 114th post" topic grows to 100 posts in record time, requiring only 1.07 days to reach the milestone.
  Sunday, November 16, 2003
2:23 AM
New member SoundAsEver innocently inquires about the availability of De Novo Dahl bootlegs. This ignites a firestorm as members debate her failure to talk about The Features before mentioning another band. This topic also features another round in the battle between sinasugarsick and holeypeacoat and poohbear's girl.
  Wednesday, November 26, 2003 The message board's second anniversary passes. Two weeks go by before anyone remembers.
  Wednesday, December 3, 2003
12:23 PM
After reclaiming his crown from ray davies in May, jamiecarroll continues to post at a pace of 3.34 messages per day. However, carligula is posting almost twice as much with 6.09 messages per day. On Wednesday, December 3, 2003 at 12:23 PM, carligula claims the Top Poster title, which he never relinquishes. JC's pace slows down, but he still remains an active member of the community, averaging 1.37 messages per day for the remainder of his posting career. carligula continues to distance himself in the standings by adding 2.83 posts per day. Surprisingly, this changing of the guard receives little notice.
  Friday, December 5, 2003
8:52 AM
Superflks reaches 250 posts in record time, requiring only 44.86 days to accomplish the feat.
  Saturday, December 6, 2003
11:59 PM
The busiest week in the message board's history comes to an end. A staggering 1,105 messages were posted in just 7 days!
  Monday, December 22, 2003
1:16 AM
MissSeptember reaches 500 posts in record time, requiring only 77.09 days to accomplish the feat.
  Tuesday, December 30, 2003
5:09 PM
avalanche breaks the news that The Features' first full-length album will be called Exhibit A.
  Friday, January 16, 2004
10:47 AM
The Features officially announce that "The Way It's Meant to Be" and "Someway, Somehow" will be released on as a single in the UK and that The Beginning EP will receive a nation-wide re-release in the US.
  Friday, January 23, 2004
8:56 AM
sinasugarsick becomes the 12th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Wednesday, January 28, 2004 The message board enjoys the second busiest day in its history, with 264 messages posted.
1:31 PM
Superflks announces his retirement and reappears two days later as SuperElk.
  Thursday, January 29, 2004
1:24 PM
A guide for new members is posted by richarddawson. In addition to being informative, it will also become very influential in determining which of the message board's topics will be considered "classic."
  Tuesday, February 3, 2004
5:56 PM
Tom Foolery unleashes the "avatar thief" on the message board. It's a little piece of programming that randomly changes itself to appear as the avatar for another member. Beautiful chaos ensues.
  Wednesday, February 25, 2004
3:00 PM
deathscythe257 becomes the 13th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Monday, March 8, 2004
11:43 AM
YaDaDaDa calls for another message board get-together. The original plan is to return to Rosepepper Cantina, but eventually the members decide to go to Noshville Deli instead.
  Sunday, March 14, 2004
6:56 PM
The 2004 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs is started by jamiecarroll.
  Thursday, March 18, 2004
5:01 PM
Bowl of Fire posts the 50,000th surviving post.
  Friday, March 19, 2004
12:43 PM
michael experiments with converting the message board's software from Invision Board to phpBB.
  Wednesday, March 31, 2004 Although some of the details (and the actual image itself) have been lost, it is around this time that stopforme creates an avatar claiming to depict carligula's diseased genitalia.
  Tuesday, April 6, 2004
7:46 PM
"Harder to Ignore" is announced as the winner of the 2004 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs.
  Thursday, April 15, 2004
3:14 PM
The "Avatars, Signatures, and Member Names" topic becomes the first to have 500 posts.
  Saturday, May 8, 2004
6:47 PM
jamiecarroll starts the 2,500th surviving topic.
  Wednesday, May 12, 2004
12:46 PM
StephanieW becomes the 14th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Tuesday, May 25, 2004
3:22 PM
Sexy Sadie becomes the 15th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Thursday, May 27, 2004
6:36 AM
ladytron breaks the news that Exhibit A will be released in the UK on September 3.
  Saturday, May 29, 2004
8:32 PM
andrewjsmithson reaches 50 posts after only 3.47 days, becoming the fastest member to accomplish the feat since elliott.
  Thursday, June 3, 2004
2:18 PM
ghostflower becomes the 16th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Wednesday, June 9, 2004
1:24 PM
andrewjsmithson reaches 100 posts after only 14.17 days, becoming the fastest member to accomplish the feat since elliott.
  Friday, June 18, 2004
11:57 AM
The message board passes the midpoint of its lifespan. Although it still has half of its chronological life ahead of it, 77.72% of its messages have already been written.
  Wednesday, June 23, 2004
2:09 PM
After years of waiting and months of speculation, The Features make a formal announcement about their first full-length album, Exhibit A.
  Thursday, June 24, 2004
12:53 PM
MissSeptember becomes the 17th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Wednesday, June 30, 2004
4:03 PM
Peace Frog becomes the 18th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Wednesday, August 4, 2004
11:30 AM
michael makes a brief appearance to address some technical glitches that message board members are experiencing.
  Thursday, August 5, 2004
8:08 PM
Lauren suggests that the message board members turn the Exhibit A release party into a Features Prom.
  Friday, August 20, 2004
10:19 PM
Lauren becomes the 19th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Tuesday, August 24, 2004
4:20 PM
Ceeze becomes the 20th member to post 1,000 messages.
  Monday, September 13, 2004
7:30 PM
The Features play a record release show to celebrate the debut of their new album, Exhibit A.
  Wednesday, September 15, 2004
11:59 PM
The message board enjoys its last day with over 100 new posts.
  Thursday, September 16, 2004
5:30 PM
carligula inadvertently plants the seeds for the "Meeks called" meme when he passes on confirmation of a show's cancellation.
  Wednesday, September 22, 2004
9:31 AM
sinasugarsick brings the "Meeks called" meme to full maturity. It becomes a joke among message board members to imply they are so close with The Features that the band's manager, Matt Meeks, calls them personally and gives them up-to-date information.

Period of Decline

Friday, October 8, 2004 — Tuesday, May 9, 2006

In September, 2004, the message board received an average of 51 messages per day, but the following month, that number dropped to 28.3 messages per day. It was the first time in 2½ years that the posting rate had fallen below 30 messages per day. The posting activity would only rise above that mark once more (in April, 2005) before the message board's demise.

Although the message board still had almost half of its chronological life ahead of it, 85% of its messages had already been posted. There were still interesting discussions to be had, and the community would certainly continue to evolve, but by this point, the heyday was over and the message board's activity was declining.

  Sunday, October 24, 2004
7:48 PM
Token posts the 581st (and final) message in the "Avatars, Signatures, and Member Names" topic, which is the longest topic in the message board's history.
  Monday, October 25, 2004
12:24 PM
HaveSomeSoma becomes the 21st member to post 1,000 messages.
  Monday, November 15, 2004
1:05 AM
jamiecarroll posts his last message before beginning a hiatus that will last for three months.
  Friday, November 26, 2004 The message board's third anniversary passes without celebration.
  Tuesday, January 4, 2005
8:58 PM
Token becomes the 22nd member to post 1,000 messages.
  Friday, February 18, 2005
12:19 AM
jamiecarroll briefly returns from a three-month hiatus, but he wouldn't fully return until one month later.
  Sunday, March 20, 2005
10:12 PM
The 2005 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs is started by jamiecarroll.
  Saturday, April 2, 2005
2:29 PM
Since BrianW is no longer available to perform administrative duties, CarlW is added as an administrator of the message board. Although no formal announcement is ever made, carligula eventually explains a little bit about the situation.
  Wednesday, April 6, 2005
11:03 AM
"Mosis Ptosis" is announced as the winner of the 2005 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs.
  Friday, June 10, 2005
1:07 PM
Sexmaniac is the first spammer to join the message. It immediately posts the first spam message, which is deleted within three hours by one of the moderators.
  Wednesday, September 14, 2005
11:27 PM
The message board community celebrates the first anniversary of the release of Exhibit A.
  Monday, October 3, 2005
11:39 PM
stopforme becomes the 23rd member to post 1,000 messages.
  Sunday, November 13, 2005
2:28 AM
jamiecarroll posts his last set list for a Features show.
  Monday, November 21, 2005
11:59 PM
For the first time in over 3½ years, an entire posting day passes without having any new messages submitted.
  Saturday, November 26, 2005 The message board's fourth anniversary passes without celebration.
  Monday, December 5, 2005
10:17 AM
joeywade becomes the 24th (and final) member to reach 1,000 posts.
  Sunday, January 1, 2006
3:08 PM
Bowl of Fire becomes the last member to reach 500 posts.
  Sunday, January 22, 2006
8:52 PM
jamiecarroll posts his last message before beginning a hiatus that will last for eleven months.
  Monday, March 13, 2006
8:55 AM
The 2006 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs is started by CarlW.
  Thursday, March 23, 2006
9:14 AM
CarlW becomes the last member to reach 100 posts.
  Friday, March 24, 2006
1:44 PM
Matthew-CC-Hurtt, who will be the final member of the 50 Posts Club, joins the message board.
  Wednesday, April 5, 2006
10:06 AM
"Darkroom" is announced as the winner of the 2006 NCAA Tournament of Features Songs.
  Monday, May 1, 2006
11:15 AM
The Features announce that they have been dropped by Universal Records after declining to record a cover song for a commercial.
  Tuesday, May 2, 2006
8:37 PM
A topic started by the truth, which is closely followed by a poll from maggie mae, alerts the fans of The Features that things are not well with the band.
  Thursday, May 4, 2006
7:03 PM
ray davies, once the message board's Top Poster, submits his final message.
  Tuesday, May 9, 2006
11:39 PM
Jane P. posts the last message before the message board is taken off-line.

Great Blackout

Wednesday, May 10, 2006 — Monday, September 18, 2006

The details of everything that went on behind the scenes are sketchy at best. However, after the band was dropped from Universal Records, there was apparently some internal upheaval within the group, and some of the band's frustration spilled onto the message board. This, of course, caused rumors to spread quickly amongst the fan community.

To combat this, the band decided to pull the plug on the message board. Starting on May 10th, 2006, users could no longer access the discussion forums although the rest of the web site remained on-line.

During this time, the band parted ways with Parrish Yaw, who had been their keyboard player since the beginning. They replaced him with Mark Bond, who had once been a member of De Novo Dahl.

  Sunday, August 13, 2006
10:00 PM
During the Great Blackout, the message board community is still able to carry on some conversations by adding comments to entries on The Features' Blog. It is in one such comment that Matthew-CC-Hurtt writes, "I guess if the Features want to get robbed and murdered, they'll play in Memphrica — I mean, Memphis." This racist remark will continue to haunt him as he tries to launch a political career.

Post Apocalyptic Period

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 — Wednesday, January 10, 2007

After four months, the band decided to bring the message board back on-line. Before doing so, though, they purged most of the posts that had been made over the years. Only the posts in the "Website News", "Message Board News", "Concert Reviews", and "Lyrics and Tabs" forums were spared. (The purged messages are, of course, now available in this archive.)

Although the message board was back on-line, it never returned to its previous glory. There was very little activity with users posting only 7.5 messages per day. Many of the members who had been stalwarts of the community in the previous years had little or no posting activity after the Great Blackout. The list of members who did not return includes ray davies, StephanieW, rachel, Tom Foolery, and foldsfan.

However, the decline in input from some of the older members allowed newer voices to be heard. DigsySlattery led the pack with 86 posts, and relative new-comers krisan and lalalayousangtome also made significant contributions.

  Tuesday, September 19, 2006
1:25 PM
krisan posts the first message after the message board is brought back on-line.
  Friday, October 6, 2006
12:39 PM
The message board community refuses to let Matthew-CC-Hurtt live down a racist remark that he made on The Features' Blog.
1:16 PM
Matthew-CC-Hurtt becomes the last member to reach 50 posts.
  Thursday, October 26, 2006
9:33 AM
lalalayousangtome becomes the last member to reach 250 posts.
  Sunday, November 26, 2006 The message board's fifth (and final) anniversary passes without celebration.
  Thursday, November 30, 2006
11:59 PM
The slowest month in the message board's history comes to an end. Members only submitted an average 3.66 posts per posting day.
  Monday, December 11, 2006
6:23 PM
jamiecarroll returns from an eleven-month hiatus.
  Saturday, December 30, 2006
11:59 PM
The slowest week in the message board's history comes to an end. Only 5 messages were posted.
  Tuesday, January 2, 2007
3:02 AM
hollismusic is the last person (excluding spammers) to join the message board.
  Saturday, January 6, 2007
9:49 PM
carligula, the message board's all-time leading poster, submits his final message.
  Monday, January 8, 2007
1:03 AM
thelawnwrangler makes the last relevant post on the message board. It also happens to be the longest post in the message board's history, weighing in with 2,579 words.
3:22 PM
jamiecarroll, once the message board's Top Poster, submits his final message.
  Tuesday, January 9, 2007
3:41 PM
damon posts the last surviving post.


In the message board's early days, spam wasn't much of a problem. Even in the months after the Great Blackout, moderators only had to delete one or two spam messages each day. In December, though, there was huge increase in spam activity, and the moderators deleted over 11 spam messages every day. In January, the spam traffic increased even more to almost 25 messages every day, which was far greater than the 10 legitimate messages that were being posted each day. So the decision was made to pull the plug on the message board after five years of service. The band may have intended to bring it back on-line at some point, but that now seems very unlikely.